When asked to describe their children's best year in school, parents will often cite a specific teacher by name. The response usually goes something like this: "teacher's name was great! She/He was a good disciplinarian, very structured, had clear expectations, and held the students accountable. My child progressed academically and liked being at school.”
Clearly, parents recognize the characteristics of an effective teacher. During my years as a school administrator, it was not unusual for parents to request that their child be placed with a strong teacher. “You know, one that enforces rules,” one mother commented. Some parents openly admitted that they had little structure in their own homes but recognized that their child needed it. I even recall one parent sharing that she wanted a teacher who would "keep my child in line" and “do the things that I should do, but don’t.” Quite telling!
A former elementary teacher, I know from experience that children are happier and perform better in classrooms where policies and procedures (routines) are firmly in place. Throughout my many years in the classroom, the first few weeks of each school year were dedicated to establishing routines. There were procedures for everything from lining up to proper use of water fountains to putting headings on papers and sharpening pencils, just to name a few. After several weeks of practice, review, and more practice, the procedures became second nature.
Periodically, we would assess and review the class's performance regarding fidelity. In the event of backsliding, it only took a few days of missing a high-interest activity (along with revisiting routines) to get back on track. If an individual student backslid, other students would often step in to remind (or reprimand). Children holding other children accountable is a powerful teaching tool!
Procedures and routines can improve the quality of life in the home by eliminating confusion (and chaos) and afford parents more opportunities to teach their children meaningful life lessons. As the leaders of the family, it is the parents, not the children, who are the keys to change and the ultimate gatekeepers.
In addition to creating a more pleasant, productive environment, procedures and routines:
1. Provide stability. Children feel a greater sense of stability when they know what to expect. Consistent procedures and routines help families, homes, and businesses (including schools) run smoothly. The less disruptive the environment, the more stable children feel.
2. Give children a sense of security. Fears are real. Fear of the dark, ghosts, water, thunder, and dying are not uncommon in children. Establishing routines that children can count on provides them with a sense of security that can help them better manage their fears.
3. Help children develop self-regulation (self-discipline and self-control). Self-regulation involves performing a task and/or behaving in a certain manner, even when one would rather not. Organized, consistent routines and procedures require accountability, and accountability requires self-regulation.
4. Teach self-reliance. Allow children to manage themselves and their surroundings in ways suitable for their age. The ability to follow outlined procedures prepares children to manage larger responsibilities and fosters self-reliance. Self-reliant children are better able to manage themselves and their environment because their ability to manage responsibilities has broadened.
5. Help children build confidence and self-reliance. Familiar routines are comfortable, predictable, and build confidence. Unpredictable scenarios can be stressful, particularly for children. Skills used to successfully manage familiar situations can be applied to unfamiliar ones. Confidence in handling the 'predictable' can build the confidence and self-reliance needed to cope with the 'unpredictable.'
For families seeking an improved home environment, there's no time like the present. As the former British Prime Minister George Canning wisely stated, "Indecision and delays are the parents of failure."
© Sharon Knapp Lamberth, August 28, 2021
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