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Writer's pictureSharon Lamberth

How to End the 'Picky Eater' Battle

Updated: Dec 2

Ensuring that children get proper nutrition is essential. However, for many parents, food-related concerns rank among the top daily challenges. During discussions with parents, the topic of picky eating habits of children frequently arises.


It is not uncommon for toddlers to reject certain foods when first presented, so parents shouldn't place too much significance on this initial reaction. It is a mistake to assume too quickly that the toddler does not like the food and decide not to offer it again. Toddlers and young children should not be allowed to decide what they will or will not eat; permitting them to do so can lay a foundation for unhealthy eating habits in the future.


The fact that a child (or adult) does not like the taste of a given food during a certain period in his or her life doesn’t mean they will always have a distaste for it. The brain can be retrained to like certain flavors by simply eating them more frequently. Likewise, one’s taste can be acclimated to dislike certain foods. For example, people who have eliminated soda from their diets may find after a period of time that the drink they used to enjoy now tastes sickeningly sweet.


Worth noting is that concerns about children’s eating habits can be rooted in family eating patterns. Children, particularly young children, tend to want whatever they see their parents eating. If parents engage in unhealthy eating habits, expecting their children to eat differently will likely be met with resistance.


Unhealthy eating habits tend to ease their way into daily life gradually. Parents may deceive themselves into believing that their children are too young to notice their (adult) eating habits, telling themselves that they will develop healthier habits when they sense their children are becoming more observant. They fail to realize the extent to which children learn what they observe, day by day. By the time parents recognize the problem, the roots of resistance may have already been firmly planted.


Changing course begins with a resolute commitment. Below is a list of 10 steps for improving your child’s eating habits:

1. We are what we eat. Reflect on your eating habits and compare them to the expectations you have for your children.


2. Take an inventory of the food items in your cabinets and refrigerator. Purge items, particular snacks/drinks that are high in sugar (sugar is a major culprit in the American diet for both adults and children).


3. Get your own eating habits in order. Children learn what they live. Make sure your own eating habits reflect what you wish to instill in your children.


4. Create a chart of healthy foods (such as fruits, vegetables, grains), including those that your children like and those they resist (foods you would like them to get used to). For younger children, cutting out pictures of foods from magazines to put on the chart can be helpful. Place stars next to the healthy foods that your children like. Share with them that the goal is to add stars to other foods on the list.


5. If your children strongly resist food changes, try the “no thank you bite" strategy. It may take between 10 and 15 bites of one type of food before a child accepts or likes it. Requiring each child to take one bite before allowing him or her to refuse an item adds to the count (placing tally marks on a chart for each attempt promotes active participation). Remember that even when children react negatively, progress is being made simply by exposing them to new foods and flavors.


6. Be patient – sustainable change takes time.


7. Do not allow young children to dictate when/what they eat. Three meals a day at scheduled times are most effective. Growing children may need a mid-morning and/or afternoon snack that you choose (raw vegetables, exotic fruits, and nuts make great snacks). Giving older children a choice between two items can help with buy-in.


8. Even after little ones learn to open the door independently, make visiting the refrigerator without permission off limits.


9. Do not allow children to get food/drinks from cabinets or the refrigerator without permission.

10. Resolve to be proactive, not reactive. Whenever possible, include your child(ren) in food preparation (stirring, collecting, and/or adding ingredients, etc.). Creating a recipe box with simple, child-friendly, go-to recipes can help get children actively involved in the cause!


Fast-food items like hamburgers, fries, and sugary drinks are deeply ingrained in the American diet, a pattern that has contributed to an array of health issues. It is never too late to change course. Parents owe it to their children to teach and model the importance of eating a healthy, balanced diet—a winning proposition for all!


© Sharon Knapp Lamberth, May 2, 2021


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